Hi, my name is Beau . Lately I've been having a hard time
or thinking to much about my steer wrestling event. basically
I am getting scared of getting on my horse an jumping on to the
steer. I been thinking and thinking or just running pictures
in my mind and doing good at it. When comes time to practice
i get scared and sometimes i do good and not so good. I had some
bad crashes. I don't know if you know the sport of rodeo and
the steer wrestling event. I loved this sport deep down. I watch
tapes of the professionals of the PRCA, i watch my tapes. I am
trying to learn more of mental toughness I guess. any suggestions?
Thank you very much.
Good morning, Beau -
I know a little about Rodeos since I have a daughter who was
a wrangler at a ranch in Colorado...but the question you pose
really has to do with all sports...what I have found since I've
been working with athletes such as yourself is that when you
withhold your feelings (keep them bottled up) or if there is
an issue in your life (or issues) that you are not addressing,
both will affect your feelings of self worth...(withholding is
a form of lying)...and if you have low self-esteem, you begin
to see your world around you from a negative perspective (We
see things as we are...not as they are, but as we are...) This
translates into having negative feelings about your ability to
successfully wrestle a steer. So if you want to rid yourself
of your negative feelings, you must first resolve (or begin the
process of resolving) issues in your life that, up to now, you
may have chosen not to deal with...and above all, unload any
feelings about specific issues you may be carrying around with
you. You didn't say how old you were or what your marital status
is, but if you have a girlfriend with whom you're not getting
along with, that could be a cause of your not doing well in your
event. And if this is so, you need to discuss with her whatever
issues exist between the two of you and resolve them. If she
isn't willing to do so, then as painful as it may seem, you need
to find another girlfriend (assuming I'm correct in my assumption.)
As for your watching tapes of yourself and others, that's an
excellent idea; but keep in mind that the technique you describe
will not work (it's a form of "visualization") if you
are loaded down with psychological baggage such as I've discussed
above.
If you have any further questions, be sure to let me know.
Good luck with your steer wrestling...
Sincerely,
Marv Fremerman
Thanks for responding back. I am married and have a great
relationship with my wife. I have a 9 month old daughter and
3 boys. I agree of what you said about me having low self esteem
about my self. One time i could not hold this any more and i
call my cousin and i confess to him about how i felt about my
self and what i was going through with my steer wrestling. He
was very kind and he just listen and gave me advise to slow down
there always going to be rodeos down the road, maybe i just need
to start practicing off the dummy steer and work on my dismounting.
He use to be a steer wrestler. his son is very good in steer
wrestling. I practice with them and keep my horses at their place.
he also advise me to slow down, he thinks I go to hard sometimes.
I think iam very stress out at work. I work as a substance abuse
counselor on the Navajo reservation. I am 37 year old navajo
male. sometimes when i want to go to practice i just feel mentally
drain out. I never use to feel like that. I would be fired up
to go to practice and after i would finished practice wether
i did good or not I still would feel good about myself and at
least i know i gave it my best. Presently i would feel tired
by 9:00 am in the morning. I want to start running or doing some
things physically to get back into shape. Well that's about i
have to cover this morning and again thankyou for giving me some
suggestions and if you have any more please feel write back to
me. Laters
Beau Morgan
Dear Beaux,
I think it's great that you are working with other Native Americans
as a substance abuse counselor. In the past, I've worked with
Native-American cross country runners while living in Phoenix...I
used to visit the reservation and conduct mini-workshops with
them and discuss their "self-limiting beliefs." I also
introduced them to "positive visualization."
One belief they had was that they would become alcoholics because
their parents and grandparents were alcoholics. I explained to
them that, if they believed they were going to become alcoholics,
they would become alcoholics. Even though they may have been
genetically pre-disposed toward alcoholism, they can make course
corrections in their lives so that their expectations did not
become self-fulfilling prophesies. (As I'm sure you know, low
self-esteem is transferable from generation to generation the
same as genes might be.) I also explained to them that if you
took 1000 whites and placed them on their reservation without
any tangible hope of entering mainstream America, it's very likely
they, too, would become alcoholics.
In order to help those you are counseling, here are a couple
of suggestions you may want to implement:
- Create small support groups (which you may already be doing)
providing participants with an opportunity to discuss their personal
issues with each other. As they do this, and release any bottled
up feelings and emotions they might have, they will begin to
feel better about themselves.
- Encourage participants to resolve (or begin the process of
resolving) any issues they may have that are hovering above them
like a dark cloud. This, also, will enhance their feelings of
self worth.
- Encourage participants not to lie or tell a half-truth (because
even a half truth is a whole lie.)
- Encourage participants to help others less fortunate than
themselves on a volunteer basis (something you are presently
doing)
- And once they have followed the above four steps, they should
then begin a program of "positive visualization," visualizing
themselves being successful and achieving goals that they set
for themselves (and these goals should be written down on paper
and discussed among their support group.)
You might want to get a copy my book, "Gaining The Mental
Edge Through High Self-Esteem." I believe it's now available
on the internet (or soon will be) through the National Association
for Self-Esteem (NASE.) You might check them out...and as I said,
it may be a bit too early...but JD Hawkins who runs the website
is a friend of mine and can bring you up to date on it...
Good luck. Keep up the good work...if I can be of further help,
be sure to let me know.
Sincerely,
Marv Fremerman
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