Marv Fremerman
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Marv Fremerman
About the Author | Table of Contents | Sample Questions
Marv Fremerman is a performance enhancement trainer/consultant who specializes in motivational psychology and the building of self-esteem. For thirty years he was chairman of a marketing company that did national and regional campaigns for famous name clients. Based on three decades of practical experience in human motivation supplemented by reading and coursework, in 1987 he began conducting workshops on the building of self-esteem, team bonding, and how to overcome self-limiting beliefs. Participants have included amateur and professional boxers, NCAA Division I basketball teams, professional golfers, track and field athletes, an NFL football team, and ladies volleyball and softball teams. His cassette and workbook package The Dynamics of High Self Esteem: A Guide to Personal and Professional Growth was sold nationally by Nightingale-Conant, a marketer of self-help recordings, and SkillPath, Inc., a workshop/seminar firm. Fremerman's most recent books include: "Gaining The Mental Edge In Sports," "Gaining The Mental Edge in Soccer," and "Mind Over Sports."
Some of the athletes and teams Fremerman has worked with include the 1999 NFL St. Louis Rams; the University of Missouri Men's Basketball Team; Southwest Missouri State University Baseball, Softball, and Volleyball teams; Maicel Malone, gold medalist in the 1996 Olympics; Maurice Greene, world's 100-meter record holder; Tom Jones, Head Women's Track Coach, University of Florida, Gainesville; and Tommy Morrison, former WBO Heavyweight Champion. See Marv's acknowledgments for more complete listing.
Includes 163 Questions and Answers taken from Marv's weekly newspaper column and past workshops
#12 Divorced Parents
If you’re a teenager playing on your school sports team and your parents, who were recently divorced, keep sending each other messages through you, I’m sure it’s affecting your game. What can you do?
This may come as a surprise to you but you have a choice. You can allow (and notice I said “allow”) yourself to be caught in the middle or speak up and tell your parents that if they have anything to say to each other in the future, they are to communicate with each other directly and to leave you out of it. Once this message is made clear to them, and you no longer allow yourself to be caught in the middle, you will have resolved a major issue in your life and the quality of your performance in your sport will increase considerably.
#13 Sometimes you can’t “Just Do It”
How do you get talented high school kids to try out for their school team if they’ve convinced themselves they’re not good enough?
I’ve always been moderately amused by the advertising phrase “Just Do It” because for people with low self-esteem that phrase falls on deaf ears. One of the characteristics of people with low self-esteem is: they are not risk-takers. Until they begin to feel better about themselves, and change their beliefs about themselves, there’s no way they’re going to try out for the team. I suggest they get involved in a support group with their peers, or possibly meet with a church minister or a licensed therapist. That way, they can begin looking at issues they may be harboring that are affecting their feelings of self-worth.
#14 You and Your Dad
What do you do if you play on your high school baseball team and your dad, who has always been your biggest fan, embarrasses you by trying to butter up college scouts who come to see you play? And you don’t want to hurt his feelings.
The worst thing you can do is withhold your feelings. Withholding is a form of lying that demeans you and lowers your self-esteem. As your self-esteem is lowered you create psychological baggage for
yourself that affects your ability to focus. You need to tell your dad how you feel. And I believe you can tell anyone anything if it’s done in a sensitive way. So you’ll have to carefully choose your words. But once you discuss the situation with your dad, you’re going to feel a lot better about yourself and your batting average should jump a few notches.
#15 The Benefits of Prayer
Some athletes have strong spiritual beliefs and always say a prayer before competing. Is this good?
Athletes who have strong spiritual beliefs generally have high self-esteem, and the higher their sense of self-worth the closer they will perform to their skill level on a consistent basis. When they perform in their sport, I don’t know if there is divine intervention or not, but I do know the little prayer they say helps a great deal regarding how they feel about themselves, which subsequently affects their performance in a positive way. It’s like getting an assist from God, but it’s a statistic that will never show up in the record books.
#16 The Benefits of Meditation
If you’re an athlete, will some form of meditation help your performance?
Many people have a misconception about meditation. Though there are forms of meditation that are religiously founded, there are also forms that have nothing to do with religion at all. Meditation is basically focusing on a single word (often referred to as a “mantra”) and by doing so, you are able to block out all other thoughts and quiet your mind. Meditation will not only relax you but will also allow you to become more focused; and as an athlete, the more focused you are the greater your potential to increase your performance level. But in order to use meditation effectively in your sport you must practice it for a considerable period of time. It’s much like Pavlov’s Dog. You have to program your mind to respond to your mantra.