ExRx.net

I always get a bit of nostalgia when I read through that. My sisters a machine now.

Amazing how you can underestimate how much someone needs to lose - I said in that thread "around 30lbs", bt she's now about 55-60lbs down.

I've still not been able to get through to my dad, btw. In my sisters case, she came to me. Any time I had tried to get her to train before, it just never worked. The biggest thing is patience. It's completely underrated when it comes to training people, but even more so with family. If you get some verbal abuse, tantrums, or can tell they're just being lazy or whatever, you need to just put it aside, and persevere with them. My sister says the thing that kept her going the most is that I was always the same no matter how much of a "bitch" she was. She said I was always positive - always adamant that she could do it, even on her worse days. And that I always gave positive remarks even after a bad session - The good thing about a bad session is it gives a kick in the a$$ for the next one... you can always put a positive spin on it.

Patience is huge when dealing with family or friends.

If it helps, my sister, to this day, has been the most difficult person i've ever trained, and I work in a commercial gym now! There were times I thought there was no hope for her at all (the thread was great for venting lol). However, fast forward 2 years - she trains herself now. I giver her programs, though. She trained herself in her flat for almost a year without me. She joined a gym a month ago. She looks great, and she's like a different person. There has been friends of family that seen her over xmas and didn't recognise her - her hair,style, confidence, everything, has changed. She's went from taking years off my life span due to frustration to going into the gym, lifting heavy stuff, then knocking back a shake, and heading home.

Guess the point is to stay positive and have patience!

KPj

thanks kpj

I'll try to apply that idea with my wife.
She's very lazy and down in the dumps most all the time

Get her on this forum KPj. She'd be great to counter your point of view with the whole traner/trainee dynamic.

I talked to her last night and she's ready to start or try. We just have to find a time that works for everyone. Her attitude seems pretty good and seems to understand it won't be all "Easy", but I'm gonna do my best to make it light and SLOWLY work up to more stuff.

KPJ, Thanks for all the advice.. Patience is Very important as I have learned from trying to layout a plan for my wife.

The other issue I've had is when trying to correct form problems. I have been accused of being to critical, even though I try to stay positive. Any suggestions on this?

Cliff

Just try to correct one problem at a time.

Make it clear it's not that they are doing something wrong (even if they are), just not doing what's optimal to get the results they want. If they don't understand your coaching cues, make it clear you regard this as your fault - "Sorry, I'm not explaining this well" not "Obviously you don't understand."

But fix one thing each session.

My Mom called last night and wanted to come and workout. This is great as I did not want to push her into something. So, she came by and I began explaining a few basics and gave her a quick run down of the types of things we will be able to work on.

It was my Squat day, so I decided to start her out with a Lower Body Workout.

I had her start out with a Box Squat to a Bench. Overall, the height of the Bench was a little high, but served it's purpose quite well.

I had her focus on keeping her back straight, which didn't seem like a problem and Pushing her Butt Back.

As a check, she wanted to try a few Squats without the Bench. We did about 5 of those as I stood in front of her and held her hands for Balance. Depth and her knees shooting forward was an issue with these, so I didn't want her doing many until we could improve her form.

So, This workout:
2 x 8-12 BW Box Squats to Bench
1 x 5 BW Squats

Most importantly, She made the effort and wants to come back. I think this could be good.

Cliff

I'll have a scan through the original thread first before I ask her if she wants to join in, lol - I done a lot of ranting on it. I don't think she would be bothered by it but it was used as a bit of an outlet for me at the time.

KPj

Deffinitly agree with what Peter said. It's very easy to overwhelm people. Even experienced lifters. For most people focusing on more than 1-2 cues at the most will be enough.

It can help to explain form cues before you use them. If i'm teaching a newbie to squat, I explain to them what "hips back", means, and I explain what "knees out", means. I'll just say, "i'm going to explain a couple of things first, so that if I say them you'll understand". For benching I show people how to get they're shoulder blades down and back before they even start - you'll be surprised at the little things you as an experienced lifter just "know" which newbies will not.

For squat there's a couple of things - I just concentrate on hips back and knees out. I limit the depth to a safe ROM with a box/step or whatever. Really don't worry about depth right now. You're just trying to get the hips and knees doing what you want them to do.

I find even holding a light DB at the chest makes most people keep the chest up (back straight) without even having to mention it to them. If the chest still does cave, normally just telling them to look up a little will do the trick. That's another thing - watch the eyes! Some people seem really unstable and you can't work out why, then you spot that they're scanning the room repeatedly throughout the set! It's amazing the difference it makes when get someone to fix they're eyes on one spot, and focus.

I'm possibly contradicting myself by overwhelming you here!

Also, when someone isn't "getting" something, as Peter mentioned, just act like it's your fault. I believe this anyway - if someone isn't getting it, I believe i'm not coaching them properly. Of course some people are harder to coach than others but, that's the fun of it, really.


KPj

I probably spent more time talking and trying to explain what we "Will" Be doing than actually having her do a movement. Of course, I tried to give examples also, but mostly explain what I meant, as well as letting her see how a slight change in form can change the muscles used the most. AKA: Legs closer together, gives a more Quad Dominant squat and a wider stance is a Hamstring/Glute Dominant Squat.

We also put together a Schedule..
Mondays and Wednesdays for sure and hopefully either Friday or Saturday.

Cliff

Report from Day 2 after the workout.

DOMS began setting in pretty bad for her yesterday afternoon. Then she decided to shovel some snow last night after arriving home from work.

Bottom Line, even with the minimal workout (even she says it was a minimal workout), due to being so far out of shape, it's a bit painful. So much so that she is not really sitting down, but falling into her chairs (Her words).

She's still coming back, but wants to cut the next workout even shorter and it will be an upper body workout, unless I can get her to do 1 set of lower body and 1 upper body push or pull.

Cliff

Second Workout...

She didn't want another lower body workout, so I setup a basic upper Body Push/Pull.

Barbell Pushups (pretty High Bar)
8 reps
8 rep

Super Set With
Seated Row 27.5# on the lever arm.
8 reps
8 reps

The Barbell Pushups, she didn't have trouble keeping the body tight and seemed to do OK at keeping the arms/elbows tight to the body. Overall, I didn't notice any major problems with form or pushing ability.

Rows, I wrapped a towel around the leg extension arm on my bench, the loaded the weights. So, a nice grip/forarm exercise also. I used a basic cue of pressing her chest to the bar to help her focus on squeezing teh shoulder blades together.

I say these were supersetted, but neither were performed quickly, just one right after the other.

Upon leaving the house, she intended to go home and do a single set of 8 squats to a kitchen chair.

Cliff

Workout 3:

Full Body Routine:
RDL's: Sumo Style with a DB
25# x 8
25# x 8
I reminded her that her youngest grandkids (my daughters) both weigh about 40# and she picks them up, just not with the same form. :)

Seated Overhead Press: DB
5 x 8
5 x 8
She said this felt like much more than a 5# bag of Flour. :)


Big items for the day were discussions about workout length and progressing/increasing weight. I've determined we she wants to keep the workout to about 30min, but would do more as the movements get easier.

So far, the only movement which has given extreme DOMS have been the Squat Day and I think this may have been due to doing more than I thought she did. After further discussions, I think she basically sat down and got up at a leisurely (by my standards) pace for almost the whole 30min's she was there. That's a lot more reps than the 16-20 we have been doing since then.

I'm waiting on the report in the next day or so to find out how the RDL's affect her. I'd like to get her doing a basic full body routine that I can switch each workout and last night was the beginning of that. I'm collecting a set of movements which she knows and can perform.

Squat - to Bench/seat
RDL - DB
Barbell Pushups
Seated Rows - Similar to cable Rows
Overhead Press

FYI: I'm going to start a topic in the Log and Log discussion area and quit updating this topic.. I still have questions, but will post them in that area.

Edited to add:

OK, Maybe I won't create a Journal/Log for this. I'm only allowed a single Journal, so I guess updates will remain in this topic..

Thanks everyone..
Cliff[/code]

DOMS are bad again last night and today for her. Her Hamstrings are quite sore, but not as bad as her Quads from the Squat day. As we all know it's not a sign of a good workout, but does serve as a reminder to her that she has done something and I can tell by the tone of her voice on the phone that she's a little proud that she's sore. Somewhat surprising and unexpected from my mother.

Big Point for today though...
She has finally realized why I don't accept the excuse, "That will Hurt My Knees", a reason why NOT to exercise.

Her Words:


The rest of the family is beginning to support her also. That's a decent step beyond thinking she's crazy for coming to work out in my Cold Garage. hahahah

Cliff

good to hear about the progress. Must be exciting and proud

Oscar,

Yes it's very exciting and I'm extremely proud. Just last night she even mentioned she needs to continue progressing.

Monday 20110131

Goblet Squats to Bench (Box):
8 x 5#
8 x 5#

Seated Overhead Press:
8 x 8#
8 x 8
10 x 8

Upright Row: EZ Curl Bar
8
8
10

She doesn't look forward to any form of the squats, but did them and even added some weight this time. May have actually been 3 sets, but I think it was just 2. She said holding the DB actually made it easier to keep her back straight and chest up.

Added weight and sets to the presses. I gave her the option of just adding a third set, or she could add weight also. She chose the weight and sets, very impressed with this.

Added a third movement this workout. Upright rows. Had a little issue at first with wanting to Row up as far as her shoulders would let her, then Reverse Curl the bar up a little more. With a little coaching, she quit doing that and her form improved quite well. She knew she has worked her shoulders by the time she left.

Cliff