hoosegow wrote:
KPj, you said you will feel guilty for the pain you caused your g/f (agreed I would have a hard time telling Megan Fox no). Realistically, you could cheat and not get caught. Your g/f would never know about it an thus you wouldn't cause her any pain. Would you then still feel guilty? Why should you? No one got hurt. There are no negative consequences. The only guilt you should feel would be self imposed. If the answer is still you would feel guilty, then you feel you are being judged by something or someone, right? I don't think you can say you were judged by society because society doesn't know what you did. You could say you are judging yourself, but no one got hurt and what you did would have no negative consequences and it felt good. So why should you feel guilty for that?
That's a good point. I think the guilt would come from not liking the thought my g/f cheating on me, too. I believe this is a christian value, but I don't like to treat other people in a way that I wouldn't want treated. I just think it's twisted.
It's interesting to ask me about cheating. I used to be a scumbag. I cheated on my last g/f several times. I never got caught, still haven't been, years later (unless she reads this). At the time, and even after splitting up with her, I felt nothing at all. I acted like I was single when I wasn't with her, and like a devoted b/f when I was with her. Best of both worlds. The first time I done it, I felt little tiny bit of guilt when she said "so, you have a good night last night". When I said, "yeh.. was ok". I had the tiniest bit of guilt. That faded in about 30 minutes, though. The problem was that I shouldn't of been with her, as I never cared about her, not properly anyway.
I've been with my current g/f for around 4 years (maybe more) and never even thought about it and I still wouldn't. I live with her now, too. The interesting thing is, it's only when I fell for my current g/f that I felt guilty about how I treated my ex.... Bizarre/twisted, I know, but that's what happened... Something just made me think, "man, what an a$$hole" and to this day I still feel a tad guilty for it. My ex cared a lot more about me than I did about her and now that i'm with someone that I would never cheat on, I have an idea of just how crap it would be if it happened to me.... And I think that's why I started feeling guilty about it.
I also have a theory that guilt is like a self imposed punishment. I think guilt is the price you need to pay for doing something that you didn't think was right. Something keeps reminding you how that person must of felt when you done that to them.. As for whatever that 'something' is... I don't know. What makes us talk in our sleep? Or dream about the things we dream about... Maybe it's the subconscious mind. Whatever that is...
KPj