I'm afraid to lite one... I know I'll enjoy it, I don't ever want to relive those first three days again.
It was so hard to be nice to my wife and co-workers, I cried on my way home from work one day because I really wanted to murder someone, anyone.
You can hold the cigarette in your mouth but do NOT light it! Believe me, there would be only 5 minutes of pleasure and your guilt will ruin the rest of your day, perhaps many days.
I smoke too. It's been two and a half months now since I decided to quit. Maybe my quiting is not as hard as you due to one's duration of smoking but I think it is the same for all of us. I think cigarette addiction is much more about habit than Nicotin. I used to smoke every time after I had done some sports (damn, that used to be my enjoyable moment) or when I have to wait for something. Now I just have some snacks instead; can't compare the difference in pleasure but I feel better about myself.
I made a slip a week ago while I was hanging around with my friends. It's hard because I have friends that smoke. It's extremely hard to watch them smoke. It's exclusively hard to have them sit beside me. Fortunately, my guilt works fast. I had only 2 puffs then I put it down. I was so ashamed because I had just told them (included the girls too, that's not cool at all) that I quit. Only 10 minutes after the words came out of my mouth then I broke it. That 2 puffs make me regret until now.