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There were periods of time when I looked like I was in the Hells Angels, or something like that. Nobody picked a fight with me then. Sometimes people would lock their car doors when I walked by.

Now even though I'm smaller framed and 5'9", I'm otherwise pretty big. So nobody wants to mess with me now. My normal relaxed facial expression looks kind of mean too. So I probably look like a disgruntled bouncer, or a mob leg breaker.

Since I don't pick up on nonverbal communication, I don't give any either. so people can't read me at all. Unless I'm very angry or laughing, there is nothing to read. I understand people find that unnerving and intimidating. That definitely has it's advantages sometimes. One of them is that when some idiot is spoiling for a fight, he'll look elsewhere.

My 20s was one big fight. I used to go out every night expressly looking for a fight. My favorite past time was to do whatever I could to get someone to take the first swing. That way I felt justified in beating their ass. Yeah, I was a pretty big jerk then.

Last fight I got into, guy grabbed my wife's tits in front of me while at a bar. I dragged him outside and pummeled him, leaving him snoring on the sidewalk.

I try to avoid fighting as much as I can now.

*edit, the more I thought about that story, the more I felt like a dick.

In that case, it was like Junior High School. I don't remember swinging back, just telling the guy I wouldn't fight him until he got frustrated and left. I can't recall the last time I threw a punch in anger at someone. Might have been never.

Sounds like you'd make a good poker player.

Or an acter like Keanu Reeves..... Cause he always has the same face, get it?!?!

It kind of depends. I've found its mostly how you talk that really puts people at ease or at worry. And I don't mean if you curse like a sailor...just how you speak. I get a lot of rough looking construction workers at my place. And I'm a little worried when I first hear them open their mouths...but luckily, most of the time, that worry is unfounded.

Oh and also, two things- if you make too much eye contact or none. Those are the nonverbal communcations that I don't think a lot of people pick up on

I was hoping a guy like pdellorto or someone with professional or who is trained in combat could tell me...if you are trained, does that sort of training stick with you in the "heat of the moment", or do you revert to more basic instincts that aren't necessarily allowed in martial arts and the like?

I think it depends partly on your training. You can pretty much forget about the Kung Fu movie BS. Jump spin kicks aren't very useful in a real fight, especially when you're wearing shoes and street clothes. But things like boxing/kickboxing, wrestling and BJJ can prove very useful. Just knowing how to throw a punch properly can give you a huge advantage over someone fighting Jerry Springer style.

In general I think training is most useful when it's realistic and prepares you for a wide range of situations. Then if you suddenly find yourself on your back with some big guy sitting on your chest, you'll at least know what to do, and be less likely to panic.

Also, personality plays a role. Some people just handle pressure better than others.

I've also noticed that under pressure people generally revert to the techniques and tactics they're most comfortable with. This isn't neccessarily a bad thing, but it can limit ones options. For example, if you're only thinking about landing a big overhand right, you may miss a lot of other openings.

I got into a fight on NYE 08/09; some dude decided that elbowing me in the face was a good response to me chatting to his girlfriend. I decided that a good response to the elbow was dropping him with a couple of hooks to the head and a 10 second boot bashing. Apparently he and his girlfriend were models but word had it that he was a narcissistic arsehole and an angry drunk. I'll admit, she was incredibly pretty and I definitely would have gone there, but the conversation was innocent and I had no intention of hitting on her. His face was pretty fv(k up, a few of the kicks connected pretty hard with his eyes+nose, but he deserved it imo (he also smashed a bottle and threated a mate of mine with it).

Apart from that I'm a bit of a pacifist. I don't like confrontations (unless they are meaningful arguments) and I generally condemn violence. And when your four years deep into a law degree you tend to think about the consequences of any violent altercation more than your average joe.

Frigginwizard, thanks to you I've started reading Tucker Max.
Reminds me a bit of Atomic Dog.

What you tend to find is that those that can actually fight are rarely in fights. It's normally idiots, or drunks, or drunken idiots that fight.

That being said, we have quite a big MMA community down/up (?) my way. I've seen an MMA guy who looked about 150lbs and about my height (5'7), kick a significantly bigger guy in the face. The big guy was drunk, and being an idiot, and taunting him for about 10 minutes before he lost it. One kick. In the face. LOL.... Being able to just easily kick someone in the face is something I've always respected about MMA guys and similar.

A friend of mine does it, recreationally, and, similar circumstances to the above, took someone out in with an amazing combo - 3 right elbows, in quick succession, left cross then straight right. The last 2 really weren't needed as the guy was going down anyway. It lasted no more than 3 secs. He said the first 2 elbows never really connected properly! Was kinda messy so hard to tell from watching. I could never visualise before this how you could use an elbow in a real-fight-situation. I've always meant to learn how to use my elbows after this!

Since i've became strong (well, compared to the average man), i've been especially hesitant to get into any fights. I've walked away from loads of "potential" situations. Most people who say something are between 5'5 and 5'10, and about 130-150lbs binge drinkers. I just think, I could probably lunge double there b/w. They are literally "speed bench" weight. I could military press them. I just reckon most people with a little strength behind them could do some serious damage if they went for it. It's really not worth it. A boy I grew up with was always quite a big, strong guy. He's been in one fight. He broke the guys jaw, he needed plates in it, and rumour had it that he suffered some kind of brain damage. Never in any trouble, he defended himself, but it was seen as slightly excessive. He got a serious assault charge, £600 fine, and community service....

Plus, the next person you fight with could turn around and kick you square in the jaw, lol. You never know who they are!

KPj

Well, I'm not MMA, but was a wrestler; HS, college, and some freestyle and Greco Roman post that. What KPJ says about most that "can", usually find a way out of it, is very true. However, around 10 years ago, some drunk idiot in a pub in Glasgow, decided he wanted to smack me for reasons unknown, I had no idea, he was behind me. Yes, the basic instincts and reactions come through. Right after I got whacked, I simply turned around, sent my left foot into the area just below the kneecap, sent my shoe scraping down his shin, which basically froze him up, grabbed his head, getting ready to slam it into my knee when all his buddies came up , apologized and he made nice, and that was that, but to answer the question, no, i didn't think about what to do, it just came. I don't and didn't make it a habit of fighting, as I was 50 when it happened, 61 now, and us geezers usually don't do that well going up against the young bucks.
Tim

Usually when I do talk that puts people at ease. I tend to be quiet though. However if someone is annoying me, I usually confront them in a direct manner, very assertive but not aggressive. I also go from making almost no eye contact to staring into their eyes the whole time I am talking without looking away. I usually have to be just a little angry to do that, or something has to be important, otherwise I'm more shy. There must be something about it, because people are surprisingly compliant. It's always a situation where they know they were being rude or inconsiderate. But I get no argument, or even a dirty look. Usually it's "oh, ok". Then I'm just thinking " Wow, really, as easy as that? I just had to tell you to do/not do something, and that's it?"


Like one time in the movie theater just before a movie was starting, I was prepared to calmly tell this guy where I would like stick his phone if he kept texting. After all I figured if the sun don't shine there, neither would the display. I just said something like "Hey man, can you do me a favor and put the phone away. I'd really appreciate it." Without a pause he says "yea, ok" and puts the phone in his pocket.

It might be the way I look at people. If someone is in my way or bumps into me or something, and I look up at them annoyed, they apologize almost like they think I might take a swing at them. Like 3 sorry's or so. At least until I say "that's ok, don't worry about it", then they're completely at ease again.

It has to be something about the way I look at people or my "serious" voice. Because I can just casually talk to people and they aren't nervous around me at all.