The emotional side effects of life!
Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:29 am
So I was lifting pretty consistently for 8 or 9 months, I was pyshced to be getting stronger, made a slight change here and there to get through some set backs and in general felt pretty good about life! Then I had a pretty traumatic time of things! In the final days of September 2010, a very close friend died of cancer, a 2nd astrocytoma grew in a different lobe o fher brain to the one she'd had excised 10 months prior and the new one was inoperable! On my way to her funeral I got a phone call from my mother to tell me one of my teenage years best friends had hung himself, his funeral was within the same week! Last year I didn't really think about them very much, life was good, I was getting fitter with running and diet, my daughter had turned 1 and we'd just found out my son was on his way! This year, with changes to Facebook that lets you see others activity, I was bombarded with reminders of my friends and the loss I felt. Whilst I was recovering from this emotional hit a 3 week old baby was admitted to the paediatric ward I work on with severe cranial fractures, other broken bones and "hot spots" showing on a bone scan that meant, at 3 weeks old, he already had repairing "old" breaks, his father was responsible for this horrific damage!!! The baby died on our ward in mid November and it hit us all damn hard! Through all this I have been unmotivated to exercise, I've been spending every spare minute I have with my kids, I've eaten too much food and I've drank too much alcohol, I've gained 8kg over the course of early October to now and probably lost some of the muscle I worked damn hard to build! A similar thing happened in 2009 when my wife miscarried what would have been our first child, I "lost it" so to speak and went back to my old unhealthy ways! I'm just now trying to undo some of the damage, my mind is back in the right place to tackle life head on and I'm changing things up to get the motivation back! Sorry if you read this thinking there was a point other than me getting things off my chest! I guess in the long run, 2 or 3 months won't ruin the world, but it felt like it could go that way at times! I'm looking forward to a post Christmas revamp and getting back to my Journal on here as I'm only just realising how much stress relief I've been missing out on when i grab the iron and throw it around!