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Fun at the Gym

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:17 am
by Francisco Bizarro
So the local gym does this free pizza day once a month. They fill a big table with a dozen pizzas, which they replace every hour or so. Big pizza buffet. At first I was flabbergasted, but now realize it's a brilliant business move. People come in, do their 20 relaxed minutes on the recumbent bike while reading an issue of People, burning something like 160 calories, then eat three slices of pizza. Then they stop going because "working out isn't working out." But they're on a contract so they keep paying membership throughout the year. Then they renew their memberships down the road because "I should really start getting into shape."

Arguments about the possible benefits of pizza for muscular weight gain aside (these are large, thick, greasy pizzas) these gym-goers are horribly out of shape - we're not talking about Christian Bale going from 140 lbs to 230 lbs to play Batman. We're talking about Christmas trees with t-shirts stretched over them and human heads on the top. I used to be one before I got serious...

The pizza table is near the area where I work my abdomen. It's also near the front counter, so yesterday I got a good view of the New Year's 'resolutioners' signing up, then scarfing down. But one man in particular disturbed me. He was paunchy, about 5'10, medium-build, probably in his fifties. He came to the table and extracted three choice slices from the pizza boxes and ate them a few steps away, in his gear. Then he came back and got two more and ate them. Then he came back and got three more, pilfering through the boxes for preferred toppings. Then he came back for three more. Then he dissappeared - possibly to barf, or possibly to leave the changing room toilet looking like aquatic leprechauns had been doing donuts in a mini monster truck made of crap -I don't know, but I doubt he left to spontaneously burn 3000 calories on an elliptical machine.

5 minutes later he returns, having changed out of the workout gear that saw so little use he could have returned it to the store. Aaaaand he goes in for three more. Steps aside and eats it. Repeat. Then two more. Aaaaaaand.... he's done.

He ate 18 slices of pizza - AT THE GYM. It's like justifying murder because you did it in a courthouse.

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:58 am
by TimD
Good post. I needed something to cheer up my day. That certainly did. It's that time of year again, the gyms will be crowded or another week or so.

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:34 pm
by Francisco Bizarro
Don't get me wrong. I don't like to judge people at the gym... I used to be horribly overweight myself. But someone who won't even try to make a real effort is fair game when they eat two and half pizzas in the center of the gym floor.

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:05 pm
by Matt Z
Maybe he's training for an eating contest. :-)

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:03 am
by Ironman
That's pretty funny. Good stuff. I call those people resies. Pronounced (rez e's).
They make the gym horribly crowed through all of January and even the first week of February.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:46 am
by DeadFrog
140-->230? ... Christian Bale is a badass!

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:58 pm
by Matt Z
He had gotten down to 140 lbs for another role, and looked very underweight at the time. I'm not sure what he weighted before that.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 3:55 pm
by Francisco Bizarro
DeadFrog wrote:140-->230? ... Christian Bale is a badass!
I typed those numbers off the top of my head... I went back to the source and found this:

"Bale normally weighs around 185 and dropped down to 121 for “The Machinist.” He then went all the way up to 220 when that finished in order to get ready for “Batman Begins.” By the time shooting began, Bale’s weight hovered around 190. All of this occurred over a period of five months."

... which he accomplished by reportedly eating multiple pizzas and lots of milkshakes every day, while lifting.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:39 pm
by tyler
I went to the gym yesterday after work for the little bit of time I am remaining on first about 6...and I gotta say it was about 70% hot women it was sort of nice :D. LOL...and women seem to respond better to guys who are semi-buff but also partake in some cardio rather than beasts over in the weightlifting section I've noticed...

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:06 pm
by Matt Z
"and women seem to respond better to guys who are semi-buff but also partake in some cardio rather than beasts over in the weightlifting section I've noticed..." - tyler

I wouldn't doubt it. Of course it's also possible that the beasts over in the weightlifting section are actually there to workout ... NOT to meet women. Probably a little of both.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:34 pm
by Matt Z
PS.) I didn't necessarily mean you. I just know that some guys treat gyms like social clubs. They seem to spend more time flirting with the pretty girls than they do actually working out.

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:39 am
by tyler I am usually just get in there and get out. I might respond to a comment if someone makes one towards me...but that's usually about it. But I am not incredibly big or small...but then again...I am not opposed to talking to females ;)

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 12:40 pm
by ironmaiden708
What happens to these 'new year resolutioners' after a month? Honestly how hard is it to lose weight. Go to the gym do cardio, eat good, you will lose weight. But all that seems to be impossible for these people so they have to quit after a month because its to much for them. Thats my basic theory.

My parents are going through the same thing, well almost. They are sucked into the Biggest Loser craze, and want to do their own thing at home. My dad seems to be doing pretty good. But my mom, jeeze she doesn't know the first thing about eating good or anything. She told me to do more situps to get great abs...that shows her expertise right there.

On another note, I have forgotten what its like to be fat...and don't want to.

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:42 pm
by tostig
Isn't the gym's supplying unlimited pizza a conflict of interest? It would be like Norton AntiVirus writing new viruses and malware to generate more business for themselves.

People go to the gym to get fit and healthy. If the gym had supplied some other food or foods that was known to be consistent with a healthy diet that would be different - but pizza is clearly contradictory.

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:50 pm
by TimD
Actually, the idea of pizza isn't all that bad. I spent some time in Italy, and when you went into one of the pizzerias, the had a big rectangle out on the counter, and you bought it by the meter. It was basically bread, like foccacia, topped with olive oil and tomatoes. They also had these whole chickens on a spit, and jars of various different vegetables and seafood in olive oil. Wasn't bad at all. Got a small square of the bread, got half a roast chicken and some veg. It's these American joints with the double crustfilled, triple meat, triple cheese monstrosities that give pizza a bad name.